Blog by Michele DeGarmo
“You’re nobody till somebody loves you, you’re nobody till somebody cares….so find yourself somebody to love.” Dean Martin
As much as I enjoy big band and swing music, tapping my feet and wanting to dance to it all, I recently heard this song again and it struck me how terrible it really is. No wonder our society is so confused about love. Re-read the lyrics. Nobody loves you so go find love wherever you can (my paraphrase!). This is such a worldly view on love, and it strikes a chord in my heart because I lived this way for 50 years! It’s harsh news and makes me think about all my striving to be loved and how many people I’ve hurt along the way. I think about placing the onus of my being and feeling loved on another person and all the guilt and shame this could bring on me or the other person. This worldview of love is not love at all. It’s lust, envy, jealousy and desire. Love comes from God.
Again, love comes from God. His word clearly states it in so many places. Let’s start with the most well-known verse on this subject, John 3:16-17: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal/everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” OK, who amongst us would send one of our children into this world as a sacrifice for all the sinners of this world? Would you send your child to be a sacrifice for the murderer, the drug dealer, the terrorist, the liar, the thief (you get the point)? What about for the gossiper, the cheater or the hater? Only a loving God, a God who desperately desires that all His creation would return to Him because they can see His great love for them, would do this. This type of sacrificial love was birthed from God Himself and it is what our souls deeply long for in our search to be loved. Someone who would give their life to demonstrate their love for me. No human would do this; thus the discontent in searching for it amongst us humans.
I’m not saying that human love is worthless. To love and be loved is amazing and when it’s real and life-long, it’s the closest thing we have to experiencing God’s love in the flesh! He created love after all, so we should participate in it provided it’s rooted and grounded in the Word. Marriage is meant for this expression of love. Friendship is meant for this expression of love. Our Creator wants us to experience true love! But deep inside us all is the need to be fully known and fully loved, and in most every human relationship there is still a void that cannot be filled by the other person. This is where Jesus comes in!
Holy Spirit revealed to me in the past few years, and continues to do so, the depth of love that Jesus has for me and for His Church. I needed this revelation and I’m assured that I’m not the only one, so I’m compelled to share it with you. He brought me to study and dwell in the Song of Solomon for a summer and I frequently return to it when I need a dose of His great love and devotion for me. I was taken on a journey to read this book, one I had avoided in the past, as I had been taught that it was a book about physical love between a bride and groom and I didn’t want to go there with my brain. Oh, how disappointingly wrong that theory was! This book is a love song between yes, a bride and groom, but bigger picture it is about Christ and His Church. Here’s how it was presented to me that summer, so I’ll ask that you try to read it this same way for more clarity. First, using the Passion translation of the Bible, begin by reading only the Shepherd-King’s responses. Skip all the other words but His, and read them out loud. He calls us darling, lovely, beautiful, His companion, pure as lilies. He begs us to come away with Him! He says our barren winter is over and promises new life. He longs to see our eyes of worship and longs to hear our lovely voices in prayer. He sees our inner strength and grace. He tells us, “For you reach into my heart. With one flash of your eyes I am undone by your love, my beloved, my equal, my bride.” OK, OK… stop right there. This might seem a little much for some and a little corny to others, but let’s think on this. He LONGS to have us look at Him. He DESIRES to hear our voices talking with Him. HE IS UNDONE by our presence (seeking Him) and calls us His EQUAL! Yes! THIS is what our hearts long for, isn’t it? This is LOVE! It is not self-seeking, aka “what do I get out of all this?” It is not prideful, aka “Look what I can do to gain love.” It is all for His glory! Reader, all we have to do is seek Him – look, pray, read. Let Him dwell in our hearts and minds and He is more than pleased with us. He adores us! He is undone by us!
So what does this mean for us, mere humans living in a broken world, surrounded by distrust and hate with broken-hearted people all trying to just survive? It means that we have a Hope, a Purpose and that we CAN find Someone to love! Not just anybody, as Dean Martin says, but we can find Someone to love who actually loved us first and is patiently awaiting our return to Him. Someone who adores us and longs for us to adore Him right back. Someone who says that we are beautiful and longs for our eyes to look upon Him. Someone who just wants our attention so that He can lavish His love upon us. That’s all he wants from us is our attention. Imagine what this world could be if we each as individuals, and corporately as His Church, would just give Him some of our attention. Oh, what a love story this could be! What miracles, signs, wonders and love would spread like wildfire throughout this earth. Maybe we can all start now, right this minute. “Jesus, I’m looking at you right now. I long to see your face looking back at me with your beautiful, fiery eyes and I long to spend this moment with you. I love you and thank you so much for loving me first.” You are adored and He is undone.
